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The current period represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the notion that someone could suddenly stop communication with a lover without a word seemed like the height of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a partner has only become more confounding – an frequently fruitless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive glossary to the terms this generation is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's response is inquisitive or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional excess, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal quirks signaling a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your decision to pursue a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, largely inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {