🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?